#womanchat The kinky in my hair

Media has portrayed African hair as very indecent and unattractive for a very long time .Until black people started taking their full control of their looks.

So recently  I saw a Facebook post with of a black woman who straightened her hair for a job interview and got the job.On her first day at work she came with her kinky afro.I know the post  was just meant for amusement .I didn’t find it funny though instead it evoked a thought and question of “why are we not  unapologetic of our blackness”.

Probably most black woman in my county are like me.Its been five years that I have tried “to go natural “meaning I am not putting relaxer in my hair.What I realized is that natural hair is more expensive than relaxed hair .For example a hair wash of natural hair is $5,while a wash of relaxed hair is $2.This prices mean that a student and unemployed woman cannot afford to keep natural hair. And did I mention the new hair do last a week.

Besides the prices you will not even enjoy your visit to the salon .The hairstylist here hate natural hair. They are always asking, “why not put on a relaxer ?” Or they will say,” you hairstyle won’t look nice if don’t blow dry your hair “.Blow drying your hair is actually exposing your hair to  heat ,it affect the hair follicles and cause hair breakage. Does the hairstylist care about it .They just want to deal with less kinky in your hair.

Natural hair is not just a trend .Its a movement. A movement that every African needs to join. It will save “us”  diseases like cancer because they is so much ingredients found in relaxers  that is not safe to use.

#womanchat_Am I a better version of my mother

These are the words of one woman in a woman chat one day”I have been a very bad role model to my daughters .I have been married four times and now my daughter is going through the same thing. If I knew better I could have done thongs differently because my daughters have been watching”

They is a lot of single mothers in Botswana. As such many women become the first role model of their children.The question is how to you become the first good role model for your daughters.Are you like Mysha?If you want your child to become a better version of yourself practice the following;

1.Have strong Christian believes
The bible states that Fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.If you fear God they is a lot that you will avoid doing that will hinder you from becoming a good mother. Many unmarried Christian avoid being overly intimate with men ,that can give you space to work on your talents and gifts.Working on one self can improve your life and empower a women,and an empowered woman is a strong role model to her children and the community they found themselves in.

2.Have a career
Nelson Mandela once said that education is a strong weapon in life.If you want your life to be better ,get educated .Education will likely to help you in your career path.Stay consistent in your career,become a better provider of your child and that will teach them that women are suppose to be strong and independent.

3.Practice what you preach
Whatever you do ,your child copies. So try as much as you can to practice what you preach. If you want you child for example to dress in a certain way .Dress like that. Always keep in mind that she is watching.

A teacher ,A change agent

Besides your parents, sibling’s, every child ‘s role model has to be the teacher .I remember when I was in primary school .There was this male teacher (forgot his name)Anywhere his name is not important .This man was an inspiration .

He always spoke about his journey in life .He was so inspirational the 12 year old me wanted to be the female version of him. I knew I will make it university and I knew it was possible for a village girl like me.He also came from a village in Kgalagadi .This man taught us art .He taught me how to draw .Enough about him ..but the truth is I think he was my very first crush ..(hides!).

Forward to Junior school I met another art teacher .This one is not a male believe me!I know the stereotype that the art teachers are only males .She is the most beautiful woman from Kenya.This was the day that my love and appreciation for foreigners started. (This is why I am married to Masai man from Kenya).But this is not about my husband.This woman she taught me so much about the life of woman. I learned the importance of having your own career as a woman.

If you are a teacher try as much as you can to instill good values, confidence and positivity into all the children you meet.

Just a petite

Everyday  there are so many adverts about loosing weight .You log on Facebook  there a post about, ‘Ask me how to loose weight “So many people are only concerned about people who have a lot of fat rather than those that do not.

Recently when I attended the Gaborone  book festival,there was a certain author who wrote a book about loosing weight .One woman who is “slim” (as a rather refer to people of a petite or small frame) , she asked a question about  how can she gain weight and everyone who was of a “big figure” must have thought of her being crazy.

Do you all know how people of small figure /slim/petite suffer of comments from different people.Recently when my family held a lobola negotiations .One of my cousin made a comment that I am too small .I know is not because of my height Iam 1.58 metres,it because that I don’t have much fat in my figure.

God I have suffered all of my life because of my pettiness. When I was 20 and pregnant . I was queuing for my postnatal care one certain guy who came with a very big figured made a comment that Iam too small to be pregnant.. Gosh They laughed at me .All I have was swallow the lump in my throat and continue with life.

After having my baby I went back to my petitiness  .Even today I still suffer about my small figure which does not match my age.